When I was younger, I never thought to question the status quo. Things that were "normal" were that way because they should be. I took them for granted. Now that I am older, I find myself looking at these "normal" things in a different light. I analyze them and make my own judgments about them. One of these "normal" things is family--both marriage and having children.
Look at the institution of marriage! I truly think it is extraordinary. A person pledges to another that he/she will cherish, love, honor, and take care of the other for time and (in my personal beliefs) all eternity. How selfless is that? It is amazing! Dedicating one's life to another person. It's beautiful. It's Christlike. I love the concept of charity in marriage--you don't have to worry about yourself, because you know the other will take care of you; you can concentrate your efforts on the well-being of the other. It works because the other person is doing the same. It is a complete reciprocal relationship (this, of course, is speaking of marriage in its true and intended form, which is not necessarily how it is always carried out). The late Prophet Gordon B. Hinckley of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints spoke via satellite broadcast to the members in southern California in the month before he died. He spoke on marriage. He said that each spouse should be "anxiously concerned for the well-being" of the other. I love that! Anxiously concerned for their well-being! What could be more beautiful than a selfless marriage?
I am also impressed by the completely altruistic decision many people make to have children. In agrarian societies, having children would be of economic gain. In our modern society, they are a liability. The conscious decision to procreate, I believe, is selfless and beautiful. What's more beautiful is the parents' decisions to have lifestyles that continually support the nurturing and growth of children. Parents dedicate 20-30+ to the support of their children, putting aside personal interests and luxuries.
Granted, several marriages and families are not formed according to these ideals. However, the current trends in society do not define the institution. And the institution of marriage and family is most noble. Though I took it for granted in my youth, I appreciate it now. Isn't it extraordinary?
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Sunday, March 14, 2010
Routines, Rituals, Storytelling, and Humor
Last weekend when I was at the Stand for the Family Symposium, I talked with this lady about her paper, "The Ties That Bind." Her idea was that there are four things that keep families together: Routines, Rituals, Storytelling, and Humor. I was especially interested in this, because I just wrote a book on family traditions (routines and rituals!); so I kept listening.
She then told me how she has kept on believing in the family, despite all of her various families falling apart. I asked her how she kept believing, and she said that it was because of her belief in the Church. She then proceeded to explain that what kept her in the Church are those same four things: (these are her own words)
1) Routines: Daily taking advantage of prayer and scriptures; using fast, tithes and offerings, repentance, journal writing, and service regularly in my life.
2) Rituals: Honoring and partaking in the rituals of sacrament, temple worship, and prayer on a regular basis doing all that I could even when I slipped or "tottered"; even when I fell I maintained the principles and practices to the best of my ability. (of special importance to note is that when I was unworthy of receiving the blessings of the temple garments after speaking with Bishop I continued to wear them to tell Father and myself that I desired to be worthy and that I respected the covenant I had made even though I had fallen short of it)
3) Storytelling: Scripture reading and journal writing have been a significant part of my journey. I simply could not be where I am today if I had not partaken in these practices on a regular basis since my baptism at age 27 some 21 years ago. This I liken to the "storytelling" that binds the hearts and minds of us on earth to those who we left on the other side of the veil and connecting us to those yet to come. This of course leads ones heart to a significant remembrance of those who have gone before us and the genealogy work that must be done for them.
4) Humor: Humor might seem like the least of these components but to me it is a vital ingredient without which the rest do not come together. Humor, to me, is basically not taking yourself too seriously. It is looking for the joy and fun in all things; I believe it truly is there to be found, we just have to train ourselves to look for it. What an adventure, what a delight, it certainly does not allow things to become boring that way.
I found that idea profound. I believe it extends to any group of people that you would like to be bonded together. I am thinking about using these four things in my classroom when I am a teacher, to create a united class. When I create my own family, I will use these four principles to keep us strong.
She then told me how she has kept on believing in the family, despite all of her various families falling apart. I asked her how she kept believing, and she said that it was because of her belief in the Church. She then proceeded to explain that what kept her in the Church are those same four things: (these are her own words)
1) Routines: Daily taking advantage of prayer and scriptures; using fast, tithes and offerings, repentance, journal writing, and service regularly in my life.
2) Rituals: Honoring and partaking in the rituals of sacrament, temple worship, and prayer on a regular basis doing all that I could even when I slipped or "tottered"; even when I fell I maintained the principles and practices to the best of my ability. (of special importance to note is that when I was unworthy of receiving the blessings of the temple garments after speaking with Bishop I continued to wear them to tell Father and myself that I desired to be worthy and that I respected the covenant I had made even though I had fallen short of it)
3) Storytelling: Scripture reading and journal writing have been a significant part of my journey. I simply could not be where I am today if I had not partaken in these practices on a regular basis since my baptism at age 27 some 21 years ago. This I liken to the "storytelling" that binds the hearts and minds of us on earth to those who we left on the other side of the veil and connecting us to those yet to come. This of course leads ones heart to a significant remembrance of those who have gone before us and the genealogy work that must be done for them.
4) Humor: Humor might seem like the least of these components but to me it is a vital ingredient without which the rest do not come together. Humor, to me, is basically not taking yourself too seriously. It is looking for the joy and fun in all things; I believe it truly is there to be found, we just have to train ourselves to look for it. What an adventure, what a delight, it certainly does not allow things to become boring that way.
I found that idea profound. I believe it extends to any group of people that you would like to be bonded together. I am thinking about using these four things in my classroom when I am a teacher, to create a united class. When I create my own family, I will use these four principles to keep us strong.
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