Last weekend when I was at the Stand for the Family Symposium, I talked with this lady about her paper, "The Ties That Bind." Her idea was that there are four things that keep families together: Routines, Rituals, Storytelling, and Humor. I was especially interested in this, because I just wrote a book on family traditions (routines and rituals!); so I kept listening.
She then told me how she has kept on believing in the family, despite all of her various families falling apart. I asked her how she kept believing, and she said that it was because of her belief in the Church. She then proceeded to explain that what kept her in the Church are those same four things: (these are her own words)
1) Routines: Daily taking advantage of prayer and scriptures; using fast, tithes and offerings, repentance, journal writing, and service regularly in my life.
2) Rituals: Honoring and partaking in the rituals of sacrament, temple worship, and prayer on a regular basis doing all that I could even when I slipped or "tottered"; even when I fell I maintained the principles and practices to the best of my ability. (of special importance to note is that when I was unworthy of receiving the blessings of the temple garments after speaking with Bishop I continued to wear them to tell Father and myself that I desired to be worthy and that I respected the covenant I had made even though I had fallen short of it)
3) Storytelling: Scripture reading and journal writing have been a significant part of my journey. I simply could not be where I am today if I had not partaken in these practices on a regular basis since my baptism at age 27 some 21 years ago. This I liken to the "storytelling" that binds the hearts and minds of us on earth to those who we left on the other side of the veil and connecting us to those yet to come. This of course leads ones heart to a significant remembrance of those who have gone before us and the genealogy work that must be done for them.
4) Humor: Humor might seem like the least of these components but to me it is a vital ingredient without which the rest do not come together. Humor, to me, is basically not taking yourself too seriously. It is looking for the joy and fun in all things; I believe it truly is there to be found, we just have to train ourselves to look for it. What an adventure, what a delight, it certainly does not allow things to become boring that way.
I found that idea profound. I believe it extends to any group of people that you would like to be bonded together. I am thinking about using these four things in my classroom when I am a teacher, to create a united class. When I create my own family, I will use these four principles to keep us strong.
1 comment:
Hi Sabrina! I love these ideas--so interesting! I just spent the weekend with my mom, grandma, and brother and can see that these things played a big role. For example, it seems that families love to tell the same funny stories about each other and mutual experiences again and again--maybe they remind us that we are connected. they also bring lots of laughs :) Also, I think of going to church and eating dinner together, family home evening and family prayer, as well as regular vacations as routines/rituals that bound us. When it comes down to it the key to being connected seems to be simply being connected: forming many ties that come together and form strong bonds. Thanks for sharing!
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